Shared from Roger Lockridge blog

By Roger Lockridge and Brian F. Martin

Growing up living with domestic violence impacts a life in many ways. However, some are surprised to learn that it has an impact on ones physical health and body.

One study alone found that it significantly increases the risk for heart disease, cancer, stroke, obesity  and diabetes. It literally changes one’s body.

It often changes the body in another way as well – it changes one’s face and facial expressions as this is the way we most often project the emotions we feel inside to the rest of the world and far too frequently those who grew up living with domestic violence believe a series of lies about themselves and who they are – this is then what the world sees.

Guilt kills willpower

According to research change happens through awareness, understanding and sharing. These are the first steps. And one of the most common lies that someone who experienced CDV believes is that they are guilty. As I wrote about in my book, INVINCIBLE: The 10 Lies Your Learn Growing Up With Domestic Violence and the Truths to Set You Free , the problem with guilt is that it kills willpower!

What steps can we take forward with respect to our body or health if our willpower is compromised?  As you unlearn the lie of guilt, you can begin to tap into your untapped reserve of willpower that is waiting for you to unleash.

Now that I have the willpower to act with consistency, what do i do?

This is where we turn to our favorite fitness writer ( and friend of CDV – Roger Lockridge. You can read about his story in the Love chapter of INVINCIBLE, as he too grew up living with domestic violence. I had the privilege to workout with and learn from Roger, what he has to say on the topic of health is must have information. Roger…

Thanks, Brian.

I feel the best way to fully appreciate the gifts you’ve been given as a survivor of CDV is to learn how to apply them.

Personally I feel that beginning a fitness program based on mindset, nutrition, and physical activity is an outstanding way to move yourself forward both in regards to your long term health and as a survivor of CDV. Taking small steps that are focused towards achieving long term goals can play a key role in learning how to apply each of the truths or gifts you’ve learned that you now have.

When you receive gifts for your birthday or Christmas, do you look for instructions on how to use them? That same principle can apply with each of the ten truths that I learned in Invincible.

The first steps are developing a 12 week fitness program that would begin with an introductory week to help someone understand the journey they are about to go on and create goals based on the individual needs and wants for that person.

Each of the next ten weeks would be focused on a different truth that will help this person understand how to apply it to his or her own life with the fitness and nutrition programs being the tools that is used to achieve this.

The 12th and final week would be a “graduation week” that would show the person using this program how they applied each of the truths, reached goals that they may not have achieved if they hadn’t taken on the program, and includes evidence like measurements, photos, etc. to validate what they learned is the truth based on his or her own efforts.

I would love to work with you on this, in the same way that I worked with Brian. Please reach out to me on twitter @RockLockridge so we can get started!


The current issue of Australian Iron Man Magazine is on the stands now and this is a milestone issue for me. It is the 50th issue of a publication around the world that has featured me or an article I wrote. This issue actually features two of my articles inside. I am very grateful to everyone at AIM and I hope you will check out the issue if you are “Down Under” or anywhere in the world that can get access. For more, go to

Roger Lockridge was selected as the first CDV Champion last year for his accomplishments in his own personal journey to overcome the impact of growing up with domestic violence and his continues work to help others who were/are impacted.

For more about Roger, visit HIS BLOG.