By CDV
Why is Childhood Domestic Violence so Unknown?
As we face society’s relative silence around children living with domestic violence and the adults who grew up with it in the past, it helps to also consider why adults might choose to remain silent about any domestic violence they are involved in or are witnessing. When we do look at it closely, we unravel the lie that silence somehow saves us from shame, guilt, consequence, or judgment. We also see that our silence often has the opposite effect: it reinforces the shame, guilt, and judgment we feel toward ourselves.
Adults who engage in domestic violence don’t talk about it for obvious reasons. However, why would neighbors or bystanders remain silent when they know a child is in an unsafe situation? Many bystanders simply believe it’s none of their business.
There Are Not Many Resources for Kids Living with Domestic Violence
There’s also a scarcity of resources available for children who are living with domestic violence. There are even fewer resources for adults who grew up with domestic violence.
Fear and uncertainty also prevent people from doing the one thing that all research points to as the key step toward reaching their full potential—sharing what happened with another person.
Sharing Our Stories is an Important Part of the Path Forward
Communicating our experiences helps us to better understand what actually occurred and to comprehend its true significance. Speaking our truth about what happened enables us to gain an independent perspective from others. If there is no awareness and no sharing, how can we truly understand what we experienced?
Once we can understand and recognize a memory, we can file it as a past event and therefore rewire the brain not to recall it at any given point, as Dr. Norman Doidge, a renowned psychoanalyst, explains.
Lack of Awareness Keeps a Billion People in the Dark
For the billion people globally who have lived with domestic violence in childhood and for the hundreds of millions of children experiencing it now, this lack of awareness keeps alive the shame and isolation, and prevents many from finding the help they need, as it perpetuates the cycle of violence.
All You Need to Do is Speak Up
The good news is that it only takes you breaking your own silence to free yourself of any shame and isolation, and your courage will inspire others to find their courage. The ripple effect begins.