Last Updated on April 5, 2023 by Cindy Bekesi
Hopelessness: One of the Most Pervasive Lies You Learn Growing up with Childhood Domestic Violence (CDV)
With a global pandemic that lingers on, impacting multiple facets of our lives, many may at times feel HOPELESS. But when you grow up with Childhood Domestic Violence (CDV), this may be a familiar feeling that has been with you since your childhood home. You may have always believed that “good things don’t happen to people like me” and it’s just “safer to expect the worst.”
When you grow up in a home with violence, it is not only an emotional or physical ordeal you are facing – but as Tony Robbins stated in his Foreword to INVINCIBLE, “it wounds your spirit,” because the torment you endure comes from the people that gave you life and that are closest to you, that are responsible for your wellbeing and that should care most about you. You begin to believe that if those who should cherish you most are so cavalier with your feelings. What hope is there for a better or happier tomorrow.
In turn, as you grow older, these negative thoughts and feelings built on themselves and often lead to an inability to cope positively with stress, an inherent deep pessimism about life and the future, and a lack of motivation to act in your own best interest. This pervasive sense of futility and despair is the HOPELESSNESS LIE you learned in that home.
Do You See Yourself in These Words?
Has this HOPELESSNESS become a familiar passenger in your journey of life? The repeated experience of toxic stress in a home with violence trains the mind to believe all is lost and relinquish all control. And this follows many former children well into adulthood, even after their childhood home has been left far behind them.
But relinquishing all control over every aspect of our lives and succumbing to the lie that you don’t have any power over anything in your life and all is hopeless only prevents you from taking actions and striving for the things you seek in your life that may be fairly within your reach. It keeps you from achieving the things that you could gain easily if you just made an effort. It keeps you from living the life you are able to have.
The Truth: You Were Guided Then…and You’re Guided Now
Your experience growing up with CDV doesn’t have to end with an unfulfilled life, built on a LIE. The TRUTH is you are here, seeking information about CDV, wanting to understand more about what you feel. You may be reading about other people’s stories and discovering that you’re GUIDED – motivated to achieve your goals and reclaim the life meant for you.
And you have ALWAYS been GUIDED – as a child, you were guided to endure and survive night after night. You were then guided to somehow make it out of that home and chose a different way to live as an adult. It is important to find meaning for your life that guides you forward and the way to do that is to transform the pain into purpose.
And if you are reading this, then you are already on the path to finding purpose and dispelling the HOPELESS lie by embracing being GUIDED. Through awareness of what to call it – Childhood Domestic Violence – how it impacted you, and that literally millions faced it just like you did, you’re now GUIDED to overcome its impact, reclaim the life you were always meant to have, and rise above the LIE to reach your full potential.
Check out this page to arm yourself with knowledge – knowledge is power.